Monday, October 15, 2012

TUTORIAL: How to pose like a fuckin’ FIERCE MOFO!

So I got the photos back from the photo shoot which resulted in the Makeup In Reverse video, and I thought I would use them for a very important and serious tutorial.

I have watched every single season of America’s Next Top Model, so even though the freakin’ Dolly Model Search Comp told me I was too short EVERY YEAR I still consider myself to be a modelling expert.

Okay, admittedly I stopped growing when I was about 14 so I should have probably given up my modelling dream then and there, but I just can’t let it go. I still practice my poses every day in front of the mirror. I’m an expert at Smizing (smiling with your eyes) Booty Tooching (sticking out your butt) and being generally FIERCE GIRLFRIEND!

Given my extensive knowledge of the modelling industry with my 3 photo shoots and extensive Foxtel viewing under my belt, I’ve decided to put together this easy tutorial on posing. After reading this post you too can look fierce wherever you are, be it at a shoot, at a party or just hanging around and home taking selfies.

You’re welcome!

Fuckin’ Sexy Pose

This pose is easy enough. Just make it look like you are undressing or you wear something see through. In this case I went for both options. SEXY AS A MOFO!

Fuckin’ Angry Pose

Imagine the photographer is your ex boyfriend.

Fuckin’ Happy Pose

Keep imagining the photographer as your ex boyfriend, then imagine kicking him in the nuts.

Fuckin’ Innocent Pose

Play with your hair and wear a cute accessory like a hat or a necklace; act like butter wouldn’t melt in your mouth.

Fuckin’ Broken Down Doll Pose

Just let your body go limp, like you’ve had 6 or 7 too many gin and tonics.

Fuckin’ Net Over Your Face Pose

Put a net over your face. You will instantly look mysterious and sensual.

I hope you've enjoyed this tutorial which was really just a gratuitous way for me to say LOOK AT ME WHEN I HAVE PROFESSIONAL HAIR AND MAKE-UP DONE! HEY EVERYONE LOOK!

KEEP LOOKING...

Wait... where are you going? 

2 comments:

  1. Heh, heh, heh.
    Can you go ahead and age 20 years, gain 15 pounds and have two kids and do this again? I do need help but I'm at a disadvantage like that.
    An old mom across the globe thanks you :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well hey I could already show you photos of me +30lbs, but I don't know the secret to premature ageing (lots of sun tanning?) and I don't think I could get my boyfriend agree to the kids...

    I'll make a note to do it again when I'm 40 :P

    ReplyDelete